The Juggle

Hi guys.

Remember how I promised you a tutorial for the DIY windowpane mirror I’ve been talking about all week?

Not so much.

Some days I feel really on top of my game – my girls eat breakfast at the table and not in the car, I bang out errands, the house looks tidy, everyone gets to all their activities, dinner is awesome, the kitchen is cleaned before my kids go to bed, I edit photos, write a post, and go to sleep by 10 p.m.

Granted, this happens like six times a year…but it happens.

More often than not, I feel frazzled, spread thin, tired, frustrated, inefficient, forgetful, and messy.

It’s been worse since we moved, and I’ve been really struggling to keep my head above water these last few months.

I can’t tell you how many times people have said to me, “Why don’t you hire painters?” “You don’t have a housecleaner??” or “Just get a sitter.”

The blessing of being a diehard DIYer in pretty much all things is that it saves us money and when I finish a project I feel so empowered.  I love stepping back and looking at what I’ve done and knowing that I did it.

But then the curse is that projects take SO much longer, the mess hangs around for ages, and I never have enough time to keep the house truly clean.

I am in a crazy season of life right now, but I don’t want to get so overpowered and pushed down by the crazy that I miss the beauty of it all.  My daughters still kiss me goodbye in public before they walk into preschool in the morning, they like holding my hand, they ask me to snuggle with them at night, and despite the dark circles under my eyes think I’m the most beautiful mommy in the whole world, which is just heartbreakingly sweet.

I don’t know what the answer is.  I don’t think there is a magic answer.  I’ve been thinking lately that I might need to hire a housecleaner.  And while this might be a no-brainer for a lot of you, I am struggling with the decision like it’s practically life or death.  I hate the idea of paying someone to do what I can do myself, but the reality right now is that I’m basically not doing it.

I don’t know if having that one thing off my plate would free me up enough to be able to play more with my girls, focus better on projects, and just feel less stressed about everything that needs to be done practically the minute I walk into the house.  But maybe?

My oldest is going to Kindergarten next year and it feels like a tremendous reality check for me.  I’m getting all the end-of-year notes from preschool teachers and the truth that my first baby is actually taking that first step into the big school in a few short months is really hitting me hard.

I think life is always a juggle, and we’re all trying to figure out how to keep our eyes on all the balls without losing sight of the other important things right in front of us.  Sometimes knowing it’s a common thread makes me feel better, like we’re all in this together, and then other times I feel like a baby whining about it when everyone seems to be in the trenches.

I have no answers for you, but I’ll continue to try to keep the balance going over here, and WILL have a windowpane mirror tutorial for you next week, and in the meantime, if any of you have a secret handbook about how to be an amazing juggler, shoot me a note :)